Theme Statements Are Awkward And Nobody Likes Them.

         Up until AP Literature, I was always taught that the theme of the story was an overall idea that the author is trying to convey throughout their prose; that it was some kind of concept that we, the readers, were supposed to understand by the end up of the story through reflection of all the plot events as a whole. But no. Apparently  theme is actually a slightly generalized...and I repeat...only very awkwardly slightly generalized statement that shows what the author was supposedly trying to convey through the story. But you know what? Here's my problem with it: Let's take the The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, for example. I always thought that the theme of C.S. Lewis's classic tale was the importance bravery, friendship, and loyalty to your companions. Not in AP Lit! The theme is actually more something along the lines of "When children are forced to flee from war and violence in the real world, they may end up in compromising situations with talking animals, battle, and magic inside of a wardrobe." I bet Lewis would be proud of that one. Or hey, maybe the theme for The Lord of The Rings doesn't actually have to do anything with bravery and perseverance, it's really just "When one object holds the power to rule the world, it may cause temptation, violence, and the suffering of young hobbits." Pshhh, I guess Tolkien was trying to warn us not to go forging any rings of power, you guys! Readers, what kind of awkward and deceiving theme statements can you come up with to destroy the actual intended meaning of your favorite childhood tales?

Hemingway Fries My Brain Once Again

     My sophomore year, I was forced to do this giant book project on Hemingway's novel The Old Man and the Sea. It included a 45 minute power point presentation that consisted solely of me trying to explain to the class every single metaphor and allusion that the good old Ernest stuffed into a seemingly short and simple  80 page book. When I saw that we were assigned to read Hills Like White Elephants, I knew that I was in for another not-so-simple read as soon as I saw who the author was. 

     This story, unlike The Old Man and the Sea...was actually kind of straight-forwards in what it meant, or at least you may think. Hemingway goes the whole time just narrating a back and forth conversation between a young girl and a man, otherwise referred to as "the American". You can't even draw the conclusion that he is her lover for a little while. But...the big question that the reader is left with is what on earth the operation is that this man keeps urging the girl to pursue. And further, we are left wondering at the end if she decided to pursue it or not. Now, I may awkwardly be WAY off in saying this, but my theory is that the operation referred to during the course of the novel is actually an abortion. The story refers to elephants a couple of times. The popular phrase an "elephant in the room" is described as when you have a situation or topic of major importance that no one wants to talk about, but the topic is there nonetheless. The baby growing inside of the poor girl's stomach is the elephant that is in the room. The American (her lover) does not wish to take responsibility for the baby, so he is pressuring her to abort it, promising that their relationship will go back to normal and he won't leave her. Obviously, seeing how weak of a human being he is just for saying this, the girl should not trust him even with that...but the rant that would ensue from this criticism of mine clearly does not belong in an English class blog. Anyhow...they also conjointly refer to the operation as "not even an operation" that "doesn't take long". Many times, abortions can be done medically rather than surgically; the woman simply takes a series of pills that kill the fetus and make her feel sick for about a week or so. So, like I said, I may be really really wrong in this theory, but that's kind of just the guess that came to mind first.

PS I was absent during class today, so I missed the discussion on this. If my theory about the hidden meaning is really really really wrong, don't judge.

Stupid Books That Have Ruined My Boomerang Collection

In the words of my all-time favorite author, Daniel Handler (better known as Lemony Snicket):

"Of course, it is boring to read about boring things, but it is better to read something that makes you yawn with boredom than something that will make you weep uncontrollably, pound your fists against the floor, and leave tearstains all over your pillowcase, sheets, and boomerang collection." 

   I always thought that this quote was kind of funny and of course, characteristic of classic Handler writing with it's blatant honesty and awkward juxtaposition that always brings a slight comedic element in at the very end of the statement. I have to say that lately, the stories that we've been reading for this English class have really been reminding me of this particular quote from the Grim Grotto. For example, reading Atonement; I don't know how many of you read this book, but those of you who have (or even just watched the movie), know that the ending is literally the worst thing that has ever been put in the denouement of any book that you have ever experienced in your entire life. I think it's twelve times better to read a horribly boring book, like Moby Dick for example, where you don't get attached to any of the characters or the plot line...where you struggle just to stay awake for the duration of a page, than one like Atonement where you're completely drawn into the plot and you're almost certain that everything is going to turn out okay and then BAM! - everybody dies and justice isn't served and you sit at your desk crying a little and have to watch a small marathon of The Office to try and forget that none of it ever happened. But guess what? It did. That book raped your happiness, and now the ten hours of your life that it took to read it completely though, crappy denoument included, will NEVER be returned. At least you can feel productive about the infinity hours that it took to read Moby Dick because you've just exposed yourself to a classic and therefore, by default, are some kind of literary scholar genius type thing. And you don't have to waste additional time watching The Office to cheer you up. 

   Seriously, though...we've read three short stories in our anthologies; The first ended with a man being forced to murder a psychopath in order to save his own life, the second with a man who turned into a dark and dangerous killer because of the horrible and unjust oppression that ripped his innocence and purity away from him, and the third with a poor old man getting his beautiful home (which was all he really had left) completely destroyed and torn from its foundations by a chuckling taxi driver. Look, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that these stories tore me apart inside like Atonement did, because that's called "sucking up". However, I do think it's about time for a story with a decent ending...even if it is just for kicks and giggles.