I'm Not Actually A Potato In Case There Was Any Confusion.

      I love satire, but I can't really think of anything that I want to write about it. I'm not even kidding, I've been staring at my computer screen for the past ten minutes trying to think of something witty that I could do with the topic, but tonight is one of those times where after a week of no sleep, there's pretty much no way that anything creative is going to come out of my mind. College applications and projects and tests and practice every night have dulled me down to a point of where I would rather just go to my backyard, lay down in my garden, and pretend I'm a potato until eventually the rest of the world, including myself, forgets that I'm not a potato, and I actually think that would be a really happy life in comparison to what is being inflicted upon some of us right now in the academic field. However, complaining doesn't have much to do with English class, so here's some stuff on my favorite satire:

     Parody movies are probably the best when they're not overdone. The best example of this, at least in my book, is the movie Space Balls. I also enjoy the kind of satire found on Saturday Night Live, which is why I'm always parked in front of the television from the hours of 11:30 to 12:45 every Saturday night with few to no exceptions. Reading satire is okay, but only when it is strong enough for the reader to know that it is actually satire. Otherwise I kind of sit there and go back and forth between if it's real or not and then eventually bam! Not even funny anymore. The debating going on inside my head ruined it. Sarcasm is a type of satire that I often times use myself because I have a dark soul and I just can't help that. But you know what really irks me? When people use sarcasm over text. It doesn't work that way, you guys! Tone of voice is the key to making sarcasm obvious, so when it's typed on a text message and nobody is actually saying it, don't expect me to understand that you're joking. But anyways, that's about all I have to say about satire.

The End.

Why I Procrastinate

    Teacher's are always quick to assume that procrastination by a student is a direct product of that student's laziness, lack of motivation, or complete indifference to the subject at hand. Well, I have a different view. I believe that we all procrastinate for different reasons. Here is mine:

I don't entirely believe in reality.

Of course, I probably owe a little bit of explanation on behalf of my blatant statement. It's why I can't ever bring myself to do urgent homework assignments or do things that I don't particularly enjoy at all without much forcing on the behalf of my own guilt as well as the ever impeding parental unit. Yes, I am capable of forcing myself through such tasks, but hardly ever when it is in place of playing a piece of music or just going outside and staring at the sky. 

The great philosopher Rene Descartes suggested that all we can really know and believe in is our own consciousness. The more I am pushed towards extensive amounts of work that I have no interest in, the more I think to myself "So what if I don't do it?". Then there's the question of if it really even exists...if it really even matters. Yes, the work exists within my own consciousness, but, since it exists only in my own consciousness, couldn't I make it cease to exist? And here's the deal; I am completely in love with life. Whether this entire world is reality or not, I want to soak it all in. I want to be outside and hear music and enjoy every little aspect of it that my soul pleases. I think it is a sin to waste the limited time that I have been gifted in whatever this marvelous dream is that I'm living in doing things that I detest, like sitting in front of a computer for hours writing essays and blogs or buried in a textbook filled with subject matter that I am nothing but indifferent to. Especially when outside there is a sunset that is made up of all my favorite colors and I'm sitting here missing it all.

But the problem is, What if all of this is real? If it's definitely not a dream or anything inside my head and I am never going to wake up from it? Then I suppose I will have to face the consequences of my actions. However, this is a thought that for now, I can not really bear to think of, and it is the fear that arises from such a thought that still keeps me half way on track.

Most Beautiful Words In the English Language

    The topic of beauty is really open ended since it can describe almost anything. So if we're talking about words being beautiful, the real question is what about them do we find beautiful? Is it the way they look? The way they sound? Their meaning? Or maybe even all of the above. For me, it is what the word reminds me of.  I'm not the kind of person who sits there, hears a word, and thinks "Whoa that sounds nice", unless of course I am in French class. Every word sounds nice in French class (except for the really awkward ones that are meant to be pronounced in what sounds like an obnoxious grunt). I'm also pretty sure that unless it's written in beautiful ink-and-quill cursive, we rarely decide to think that a word is aesthetically pleasing.

    That being said, "What are Becky Smiley's favorite words?" you may ask yourself. Well, I enjoy many different words, but my favorite 9 are as follows:

1. Toaster: I like the word "toaster" because it reminds me of toaster waffles. Toaster waffles remind me of snow days, Christmas, and dental floss, all three of which are nice things to have in life.

2. Dental: The word "dental" reminds me of cool mints. Cool mint is nice because it makes your breath smell pleasant. When your breath smells pleasant, you are much easier to talk to. Also the word reminds me of those fun mornings at the orthodontist where I would miss math class and chill with my favorite dental technician who just so happened to look like Justin Timberlake. Who doesn't enjoy Justin Timberlake?

3. Birthday: My birthday is my favorite holiday of the year. It happened on Monday, in case anybody was wondering.

4. Caspian: Caspian is more of a title than a word, but it reminds me of Narnia, the ocean, and talking squirrels.

5. Sleep: Sleeping is my favorite activity. Thanks to work and school, I don't get much of it. When I am asleep, I am always calm and peaceful. This is mostly because I am unconscious.

6. Llama: I enjoy this word because llamas are my favorite animal and it reminds me of llamas. Also, a lot of things rhyme with it.

7. Music: The word "music" reminds me of pretty much everything in life that I enjoy. In fact, I think the biggest problem with life is that it doesn't have theme music like in the movies. It also reminds me of playing guitar on my back porch in the summer and drinking kool-aid.

8. Ocean: I can't actually pin point what I like about this word. It's just so expansive and vague seeming. It also reminds me of blue...but like...the pretty kind of clear crystal blue and the deep kind of blue. I'm not good at naming colors.

9. Rock: "Rock" is another one of those words that I can't pin point. It reminds me of a lot of things, most namely reefs and oceans. However, it also just kind of sounds really solid; it's another one of those words that sounds exactly like what it means. When someone tells you to picture rocks, there's just so much you can do with that; there's statues, beaches on the northeastern coast, cliffs, mountains, crystals, etc. I also enjoy climbing, which is very relevant to rocks.

Things That I Enjoy About AP English.

   I hate writing literary analysis papers. But then again...who doesn't?! I will admit though, there are far worse things. Most namely world hunger, the clubbing of baby seals in Canada, splinters, and - by far the worst of all - restrictive seating arrangements.

    This is my first year at Dunbar, so naturally I'm not quite accustomed to the ways of the school yet. For example, it's really hard spending your entire life having the liberty to move your chair in and out of your desk as you please in each and every class, and then having that right instantly stripped away from you with those stupid chair-attached-to-desk thingies with the annoying bar on the right hand side that messes you over if you happen to drop your pencil or something. In a normal school, when you drop your pencil, you can simply slide your chair out from the desk, reach over, and retrieve your fallen object. But nooooo, not at Dunbar! If your pencil drops on the wrong side here, you have to get all the way out of your seat, walk around the row of desks, retrieve your pencil, walk all the way back, and then sit down casually like you didn't just interrupt the teacher in the middle of their sentence. This is why I like English class. I don't even care how boring it gets at times so long as I have a chair that is not attached to my desk by a stupid bar. In English class, I feel safe and warm inside being able to have the security of knowing that my freedom to move has not been restricted. So thank you, for that.