An Insider’s View on the Common
Misperceptions of High Schoolers
An Editorial by Becky Smiley
As a senior in high school, I
have often taken a considerable amount of time to reflect on my experiences
over the past 4 years – the good, the bad, the exciting, and even the not so
exciting. Most importantly, I have taken note of many misconceptions that we,
as students, have been given as we enter the terrifying realms of that which is
called high school. The following is a list of what I believe are the top ten
most common, and most impactful misconceptions that high school student have
made. To all my underclassmen out there, this one’s for you.
1.
It’s not okay to wear fanny packs to school:
Oh yeah? Three words, my friends: Convenient. Central. Storage. Where
are you going to put your all your chapsticks? Where are you going to put your
band aids? Where are you going to put your tots so people who can’t just get
their own tots during lunch won’t steal them? Your fanny pack. Look, kids. I
know you think that pockets can solve this problem. They can’t. Take it from me
- I’m a lifeguard, and I wear fanny packs EVERY DAY. Why? To save lives. Fanny
packs save lives.
2.
You’re cool if you try to show off by doing a
burn out in your Camry in the high school parking lot.
You’re not cool if you do this.
Yes, boys, I realize that there’s tons of hot babes all around. I mean, school
parking lots these days, am I right? However, what girls really like is a nice,
mellow, safe driver. What girls especially don’t
like is when you drive 25 mph in the school parking lot whilst blasting your
crappy music. Actions like, to the driver, may seem to say “I’m big and bad and
watch out ladies ;)”, but to normal people witnessing such events, these
actions actually say “I don’t know the difference between NASCAR and a high
school parking lot, and I’m probably about to wreck this nice shiny black car
that mommy and daddy bought me”. The latter statement is particularly
unattractive.
3.
It’s okay to be that guy who taps on the table
during a test.
Wrong. If you’re that guy, chances are, most kids in the class want to
tie you to a rocket headed straight for the sun and you’re more annoying than
the lady that comes on the intercom every day at 3:10 to tell us the weather
and maybe even read us the entire Grapes of Wrath while we’re trying
desperately to finish up our timed test.
4.
In English class, When Given A List of Books To
Read, Always Choose the Shortest One.
False. The shortest books are always the toughest books. You’ll have to
get all analytic and there’s going to be all this symbolism and literary
devices and you won’t like that. Pick a long book. Sometimes – as in the case
of The Lord of the Rings – long books
are long because they have stories worth telling. Don’t sit there and tell me
that The Lord of the Rings wasn’t
worth telling.
5.
Drugs Are Good.
Drugs are bad. Definitely not something you should be storing in your
fanny packs.
6.
You have to bring tons of pencils to the ACT:
Bring your calculator the ACT, bring your ticket to the ACT, bring your
glasses to the ACT, even bring your thinking cap to the ACT. But don’t worry
about pencils. The teachers are going to hate me for this one, but I’m just
going to say it anyways: Every ACT that you take is an opportunity to score
yourself some free pencils. Look, you guys, they have buckets of them. Buckets and buckets full of sharpened, bite
mark-free pencils in mint condition. Just put on your sweet and innocent face,
explain to them that you forgot #2 pencils, and then help yourself to pencils
galore.
7.
Eyebrows aren’t important:
I think we all go through times in our lives where we are displeased
with the particular placement of our eyebrows on our faces and are tempted to
shave them off. But fear not, young padawans, because that's just what makes us
human. Look, teachers will tell you all the time that we’re “human” because of
our DNA or our complex brains or our opposable thumbs. Don’t worry, they’re all
wrong. We’re human because sometimes we doubt our eyebrows, and that is okay.
Take good care of them.
8.
Erasable Pens Aren’t Real:
Erasable pens are real. You can
use them on math tests, essays, speeches, love letters, whatever. I don’t care.
Find them at a Walgreens near you.
9.
Expect the Unexpected
I’m talking about snow days here, you guys. Definitely expect the
expected which is most always “We still have school”. It gets your homework
done and makes that moment when they call a snow day at 5am all the more
glorious.
10.
High School Is A Bad Place.
I put this one last because it’s the most important. Look, I know you
hate homework and you hate tests and you hate scantrons and you hate when those
dang Canadians club baby seals. This doesn’t make high school a bad place, I
promise. Look around you. There’s tons of weirdos just like you. The problem is that you haven’t realized it. I know
you think a bunch of really interesting things in your head like “What is déjà
vu for?”, and “Why instagram your PB&J” and “Do dinosaurs go to heaven” and
“Do polar bears even appreciate that we’re trying to save them?” and “Why pay
three dollars for designer chapstick that comes from the secretions of bees
like…ewww” or maybe even “How did humans think up unicorns if they never even
existed? Have dogs also thought up the idea of unicorns?”This is high school!
Look! There’s a gigantor pool of people around you who are probably wondering
the exact same things. If you try
talking to them and making friends, you’ll find those weirdos out there who are
just like you. And if you ask me,
that’s what high school is all about. So next time you’re fixing your hair in
the bathroom, go ahead and ask the girl next to you that you see in the hallway
every day her thoughts on unicorns because I promise you that finding good friends
is always worth the risk. High school is only boring if you make it boring.
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